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Adoption

Adopting a child into your home can be both rewarding and exhausting. Parents have many expectations going into this new journey, as they look to give a child a fresh start, a clean slate or just hope for a bright future. The reality is there are often struggles in meeting many of these expectations and obstacles in the adopted child’s life that don’t directly involve the adoptive parents. No parent is given an instruction manual for their children (biological or adopted), but Scripture paints us a picture of how God designed parenting through His relationship with us, His children. Crosswinds works with families to overcome challenges and create healthy relationships when adoption is part of the family portrait.

Adoption issues

Each child and family is different and will face its own unique set of challenges. However, these challenges can be even more daunting if the adopted child has difficulty attaching to their new family. This can lead to serious behavior issues and disruption of family life. An attachment disorder often requires counseling and therapy for the child and family. In her book “Attaching in Adoption,” author Deborah Gray lists several signs your adopted child may have an attachment disorder, including:

Lack of impulse control and/or self-destructive or self-harming behaviors
Intense anger and rage
Not trusting other people
Moodiness: mood swings or feeling sad, depressed, lonely
Too demanding or clingy
Deceitful behaviors: lying, stealing, manipulating others
Inappropriate sexual behavior or attitudes
Having a hard time with change or new situations
Sleep disturbances
Learning delays or disorders
Blaming others for behavior (no sense of cause and effect)
Lack of conscience

 

How Crosswinds can help

Crosswinds works with families to address some of the most common issues in adoption, including how the adopted child connects with the family and integrates into the current family dynamics, particularly if there are also biological children in the family. Therapy also helps family members communicate about the sacrifices and adjustments they are each experiencing with the addition of the adopted child. Adopted children have sometimes experienced trauma (such as abuse or neglect) and a Crosswinds therapist can help the child and family work through those issues. When a child from another race or culture is adopted, therapy can also help families better understand and adapt to those differences. If an adopted child’s behavior is challenging, families can quickly find themselves overwhelmed and ill-equipped. Crosswinds therapy can help the family and child with strategies to manage behaviors and begin to create more positive interactions. Crosswinds can also help parents navigate their adopted child’s questions about their adoption, background, history, biological family and more. Whatever the specific needs of the family, the Crosswinds process is designed to give parents tools and resources to better connect with their adopted child so they may have a full and happy family life together.

If your family has adopted a child and is experiencing challenges, you are not alone. Contact Crosswinds today to see how our in-home family counseling can help:

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Additional resources

Empowered to Connect offers faith-based advice for adoptive families and offers several helpful resources:

Expectations:

http://empoweredtoconnect.org/expecting-so-much-more/

Connecting with adopted children:

http://empoweredtoconnect.org/learning-to-keep-your-balance/

Created to Connect study guide:

http://empoweredtoconnect.org/created-to-connect-study-guide/